1. |
Pathetic
03:11
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Tied down to the river bed
The current ever flowing
Thoughts forever racing
What should I have said?
I always thought I'd die alone
And I was right
Breathing in water
My lungs overflowing
My chest is heavy
I can't fucking breathe
Starting to fade
Things turning grey
My thoughts arrive at peace
Lifeless swaying
The river becomes calm
I've reached tranquility
I'm decaying again
Fabricated in my head
I'm fading again
Comfortable in my death bed
I'm really falling now
The wind manipulating my face
I thought for sure my heart would be sprinting
Should I brace myself?
I have some time to think here
Not much though I guess
I wonder if I should have let someone know
Looking over my body
Witnessing such a pathetic sight
I brought myself to end it all
And I couldn't even do that right
No peace
No sanctity
No love
No nothing
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2. |
Submerged
03:22
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I miss you
I find myself reliving memories
Or at least the things that I remember
Words from your mouth stuck on repeat
I close my eyes and I'm looking into yours
I'm at peace until I blink
I guess my eyes are drying out
Things don't happen for a reason
Please don't go
It's fucked up and I hate it
Please don't go
I don't want to be alone
I don't know if I can do this
Please don't go
I miss you
And I miss the way I felt
Absorbed by your presence
My heart became a stone
Sinking into your corrosive waters
The deeper I descend
The calmer I become
Ultimately drowning in you
I'll happily take one last breath or two
My lungs subsequently collapse
But at least I'll die inhaling you
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3. |
Absence
01:54
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I cant save myself
Buried alive in the absence of feeling
Creating infertile soil in which a lone rose grows
Pluck it now and preserve its meaning
That way you can dissect the pieces of which it's composed
You'll find nothing there and can finally write me off
The ink will disappear and leave your canvas free
I'll be easier to forget when your life is unpaused
But I'm always there as a distant memory
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4. |
Unloved
02:59
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It's coming around again
I'm trapped
No passion, no intensity
Fractures within me
Like a shattered mirror
But the reflection Isn't me
A void in me
I've tried to find those feelings
I've tried to find those feelings
where the love once existed
Its now a baron wasteland
The sweltering heat
Prevents me from looking much further
Though I know nothings there
I've been searching for a while
And was able to take solace in a mirage
Until I finally knew it wasnt real
So now I'm here again
Surrounded by the guilt and shame
And now I know I'm only to blame
Nothing left, nothing left
Suffering and knowing I'm the cause
Creating lapses in my breath
Nothing left, nothing left
A shell of my potential being
Absolutely stripped of sense
I'm embarrassed and ashamed
I truly gave everything I had
Now an empty sky brings no light
An abundance of grey is my guide
I don't want to lose everything
But the weight on my heart is overbearing
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5. |
||||
I found out from a friend
But I had a weird feeling something was wrong
My heart began to race
A numbing wave came over me
So I sit, I wait, I blink, I faint
I come to and nothing's the same
I'm fucking selfish because
I'm only thinking of how I'm affected
At the end of the day
I only want you happy
But most of all, here
I wish I could tell you now
You're gone and I don't know what to do
Everyday blends together without you
Fighting A feeling I wish I never knew
You're gone and I don't know what to do
Another night I cannot sleep
Eyes closed, my body cant rest
I can't stand you not being here
Gradually the sun resets
Wide awake
My chest caved in
My glass heart in pieces
The shards bury into the soles of my feet
I leave behind this trail of blood
I'm fucking nothing without you
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6. |
Wrong
01:56
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Something feels wrong
It keeps me up at night
Something feels wrong
Why can't I feel right
I'm a burden
I'm a curse
No one should feel this way
Yet here I am
Why do I feel this way
This isn't fair
Yet here I am
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7. |
||||
I am no longer myself
Wandering aimlessly
Pacing and retracing steps
I'm reliving what I could have done differently
I know the knife is still inside me
But I don't feel the pain
I know the knife is still stuck in me
No I don't feel a thing
Symbiotic to say the least
A constant memory of my remorse
The wound was self inflicted
But still heals like any other
Replaying every second in my head
I gotta get out
Punishing myself for the past
Something's are always better left unsaid
So I shut my mouth
And pray that this new me lasts
Quicksand rising I'm stuck in the past
My presence fading
Overanalyzed unrest
I'm in love with heartbreak
It's like I seek it out because
It's the only way I can potentially
Feel something other than anxiety
Chest compressing
Emotionally crippling
I'm so sick of feeling alone
But I don't know how to let anyone in
I'm living in the past
But I think I was more lost back then
Than I ever have been
So sick of feeling worthless
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8. |
Bloom
04:01
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Momentous regret is eating me
It lifts the skin from underneath
A makeshift shelter for innonance
Collapsing in on itself
Hiding behind self built barriers
Like vines cascading broken brick walls
To mask the fact I'm wrong
Blighted by forgiveness
This weightlessness isn't freeing
Air trapped in a stagnant room
Anxiously awaiting new circulation
Dust particles collecting
I am content
What do I do when I'm not?
Splinter within me
Valleys in me bloom
The sun has just risen
A gentle kiss of warmth
Like the perfect distance from a fire
Fresh blossoms swallow the light
But we await our wilting
Peacefully lowering my head
But the strain on my neck weighs heavy
Autumn is on the horizon
And we anticipate decay
My nails peel back and I cannot get a grip
Where stems once sprouted grows guilt
Movements grow slow
And my body recomposes
The once diminished black hole inside
Accumulates it's toll
I'd prefer to stay alive
But I am not myself here
I'm choosing to reside in this valley
And hope the seasons subside
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9. |
Empty
00:54
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I wanted to apologize for anything and everything I've ever done to make you feel like you weren't good enough. I'm sad and I don't know why. I still feel so worthless. I still feel that I don't belong here and I'm sorry. I hope that I've been able to show you I'm working on this; on me. But I can honestly say I wouldn't be here without you. You are everything.
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10. |
Rescued
04:03
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I hope he knew how much he was loved
I hope it wasn't too little too late
An existence comprised of neglect
Broken, battered, sick and tired
Endless infatuation thrown to the wayside
The only companion he had ripped from him
So he fled to find her, he fled to find her
An undeniable presence
I pray he was able to shed all fear
An everlasting love
And I still wish you were here
The seemingly infinite wilderness pushed back
But what's an eye when all you see is bull shit
Finally rescued, but only from the winter's grasp
Now his bite is altered as his tongue slips out
What is happening?
Fighting only gets tougher as you grow older
But he didn't stop until his body grew colder
But now he's finally here
He rests his head on my lap
Finally able to relax without worry
I wish he could stay in that moment forever
He deserved every semblence of peace
He deserved every chance to be comfy
He deserved every ounce of love
He deserved everything he was deprived of
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Hornbill Utah
Major Key Alt Rock about sad stuff with a mathy twist.
Brought to you by: Bob - Salt Lake City
Ryan - Baltimore
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